Only me...

  Annyeonaseyo!

  It's usual for me to think that only I am worried with the things that happen to me...

  Sometimes my bad mood affects others in a way I don't fully understand and I don't even think it's necessary...

  Stop worrying to much... I'm OK and I need to deal with things by myself! (But thanks for all the concern and, please, stay there  because I may need you).

"Do poepket ssumnida"

What do I expect from my vacations in a few weeks

  Annyeonaseyo!

  More two weeks and I'll be on vacations.

  I want to catch some sun; I wish to take everything slowly and rest; I hope to have a great time in Rome and bring wonderful memories; I need to spend more time with the people that deserve it.

  Well, I think I just want normal things...

  I really need these vacations.

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Spoiled?

  Annyeonaseyo!

  I have to say that I've always been a spoiled child... not rude because of it or with the idea that I'm better than others but truly loved and treated as a unique person.

  I have my bad days like everyone else and sometimes even worse than everyone else... ahahahahhahah! But if I like the persons I interact with, I tend to treat them like I wish (and like) to be treated. Simple, hã?

  On the other hand, if I don't like someone, is no use... I can't pretend to smile and talk... So, I've grown up and now I just want to be able to ignore those people and care about the ones that matter.

  Life is short and I want to have the best of it!!!

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Sun

  Annyeonaseyo!

  So, the weather this last two days was great and I was outside most of the time.

  My face and my back are a little sunburned but it's OK. It felt so good  that this is not a problem (although I need to put sunscreen next time).

  So, it's almost my birthday and my plans so far are not going to work and treat my parents to dinner.

  33 and I still have so much to learn and to see... 

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Going out...

  Annyeonaseyo!

  If I had to chose between going for a walk and going to the cinema or to a club. I would pick the first choice! I prefer open air spaces and I love to walk.

  I don't even remember which was the last movie I went to see at the cinema... But I know I want to see this one:

 

"Rurouni Kenshi"

  I've already said that I love manga and anime. Well, to anyone that enjoys anime, "Rurouni Kenshi" is one not to be missed.

"Do poepket ssumnida"

When I say...

  Annyeonaseyo!

  When I say that I'm not a social person, people look at me like I'm crazy...

  Well, I'm not a social person...

  I say hello to everyone that I deal with on daily basis; I talk a little to some people; I talk a lot with a few but I know I can count the number of persons I'm private with with one of my hands.

  I'm friendly... but that can also take people by mistake... and that can bring me problems... 

"Do poepket ssumnida"

What I need to do

  Annyeonaseyo!

  I need to do some stuff and I have been lazy about it:

• I need to cut my hair.
• I need to start planning my trip to Rome.
• I need to do some shopping.
• I need to wash/clean my car.
• I need to behave as a grown up adult and have a talk with my parents (who I own a lot) and with my sister.

  

  It's good to enjoy the sun and be lazy but I need to rest and do my own things... 

"Do poepket ssumnida"

What should I

  Annyeonaseyo!

  Should I be happy, should I be worried?

  I am happy but I'm also so afraid...

  I must keep quiet and be worried in silence and wait...

  I really want to scream...

  Everything will be alright *crosses fingers*

"Do poepket ssumnida"

My life is

  Annyeonaseyo!

  My life is full of emotions...

  People that know me well, know that I'm very observant. I tend to look at others actions and what they say and then take my conclusions and react on that basis.

  I take everything personally, even if I don't show it. And I'm used to collect and gather all my feelings until I can't handle them anymore and then I explode...

  Someone used to say that I was an emotional or really sensitive person, well that's true... in a very hard way for me.

  I'm OK now... but I had a difficult night/morning.

"Do poepket ssumnida"

And because I'm me...

   Annyeonaseyo!

  Yesterday I read a quotation that I loved because it's me...

  "Don't confuse my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are."

  I'm getting stronger, happier and more at peace each day that goes by. 

  Thank you all for the support!

  And I'm still "peculiar", I'm still afraid, I still don't trust in others.  

  I don't want to be hurt anymore... but can I do something about that?
  I'm walking half blind and with a foot behind... but for how long can I do that to protect myself without losing my reason?

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Vacations

  Annyeonaseyo!

  In less that a month, I'll be in Rome for a few days.

  I'm a little bit nervous by going alone but at the same time I'm really anxious to see how I'll behave on my own.

  I need to enjoy it to the fullest and bring some good memories.

  Because I'm staying in someones house, I need to pick a present to give to Maria's (I think that will be nice).

  I won't be taking my laptop, so I won't post while I'm away but I'll try to take some really nice photos to post here.

  I'll be fine, right?

"Do poepket ssumnida"

True

  Annyeonaseyo!

  Someone, you know who you are, told me that my latest posts have been too focused on others and that's not like me... and that's true, so gomen nasai.

  I'll try to be less critical, judgemental or self-aware because I already said that I'm trying to take things lighter and care less about what others think or say about me.

  I'm happy right now and that's the most important.

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Feels good when you decide on something.

  Annyeonaseyo!

  I've said enough times that I need to make changes in my life and I need to let go of some habits that are messing with my mind and my feelings.

  I need to follow what is good for me and don't give a damn about all the rest.

  :)  The last week as been full of decisions, little steps that make me feel better because I'm the only person that actually needs to live with myself everyday.

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Everyone is the same but...

  Annyeonaseyo!

  There's some sayings that I find  funnier everyday that goes by.

  One is that everyone is the same... there's no favoured ones.

  Other is that no one is irreplaceable...

  For me that's ok... since I decided to take things lighter... but it's funny... 

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Give chances

  Annyeonaseyo!

  I'm a very difficult person to give chances...

  I don't like to be hurt (ahahahahah) and I really enjoy my peace, so, once I find balance in something it's really hard ho give up and try something new... because I'm comfortable.

But... sometimes it only takes time... others, there's no use in trying to change me.

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Beautiful day even if the weather wasn't so great

   Annyeonaseyo!

  I had a beautiful day. 

  Not everything went as I was expecting, some went better, some went worse and some were different (ahahahahahah).

  I really missed walking around in Lisbon. Just wondering around, looking, enjoying and catching some sun.

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Ignore

   Annyeonaseyo!

  Some years ago I used to be part of a chat room where I was very well known... because I had the bad habit of talking about everything on the main chat, closing the private conversations (except for really interesting people with whom I could have an intelligent conversation) and where I loved to use the ignore button to all the annoying creatures that were online.

  I will start using the same ignore button but with the people I have to deal personally.

  So, 

(taken from the web)

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Tired...

   Annyeonaseyo!

  Today I'm tired mental and physically.

  It seems that everything that I've been gathering up just overflowed and I need my bed...
  Maybe it's just because I was away from all that I'm used to and met some people that I haven't seen for a while now... and I had time to breathe.

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Life is beautiful ahahahahah

   Annyeonaseyo!

  I won't let myself down because of others. I hope they choke in all their venom.

  And life is beautiful, I'm good and it's sunny outside. 

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Why people care that much?

   Annyeonaseyo!

  I really proud of being "peculiar" :p  because when I see the people I care happy, that makes me happy. Strange, no?

  I don't need to gossip or make a fuss about it because they will talk with me when they wish to. 

"So give me a smile" - M Signal (Park Shin Hye / Jung Yong Hwa)

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Amazing bookstore (?)

   Annyeonaseyo!

  It's not new that I'm a bookworm... so it's natural that I enjoy bookstores a lot.

  So, yesterday I was taken to this amazing space (kamsa hamnida, I loved it!!!)- http://www.lerdevagar.com/

I had fun because that's my kind of place. Where I feel comfortable and at peace. 

  I had another amazing day and I really felt pampered. :)

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Beautiful sunny days

   Annyeonaseyo!

  It seems that spring was come. The last few days have been sunny.

  I'm getting ready to get out and enjoy it. 

  My mind is full of stuff (as always) and I want to sit quiet in the sun for a bit...

  Why, when we really wish peace and quiet , something like a big train in high speed appears?

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Shopping

   Annyeonaseyo!

  I like to go shopping once in a while but it upsets me because I find a hard time to see something I really like. I usually find nice accessories but clothes are another story...
  I think I've learnt some tricks to make my figure look better... but the fact is that I'm still a little chubby. And because I need to cover some of my weak points things get even harder.

  Today I was lucky!!!

  Of course these things are not for use as a set... I like black but this is too much...

Edit: And this a nice way of not showing the face. Ahahahahahahah

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Peace?

   Annyeonaseyo!

  I think I'm at peace now...at least for now...

  My mind and emotions are, I hope, under control and that's all that I need. 

  So, today I found out that my flight to London wasn't confirmed... I couldn't believe in it...  But everything worked out and now it's all settled.

  Everytime I read my last posts I get all confused... my mind was really messed up (ahahahahahahah).

Within Temptation . "Stand my ground"

"Do poepket ssumnida"

I take everything to the extreme...

   Annyeonaseyo!

  I take everything to the extreme... what I want, what I don't want - I wish I knew it... 

  I'm so lost that I think I don't want but then I get sad or mad because things change. 

  Then I look back and think about the what if and I feel like I don't really have a choice because all the answers come back the wrong way...

  I want to find my way, I want to move forward, I want to give me a chance...

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Good or bad?

   Annyeonaseyo!

   Being true to yourself and honest with the others is lonely and people get upset and they turn away from you.
  Well, show must go on, right?
  There's a saying "What doesn't kill you make you stronger" and that's is true.
  I just think that I always pick the longest and hardest path to get somewhere...

"Do poepket ssumnida"

To much to ask?

   Annyeonaseyo!

  I have built a big wall around me but that wall has lots of big windows because I like to see the surroundings and because I like be in contact with the outside.

  When I feel ready I'll place a door and I will allow me to step out or to let others invade my space... When I feel ready... is that to much to ask?

  I'm trying to be the most honest and clear possible and it hurts that I feel guilty because I'm not ready...

  There's nothing I can do.

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Balance?

   Annyeonaseyo!

  Everyone has deep thoughts about life (some do it almost every week without notice it; others do it everyday because they think they must do it; others only do it when they don't have any videogames to play or tv shows to watch).

  I think that the older I get, the more I think about it. Maybe it's because I'm lost in life, maybe it is because I don't like the way things are going or maybe it is because I'm afraid of dealing with it and so I hide myself within my thoughts.

  On friday I said to a girl friend that if she is so scared of trying, she can miss the chance...

  I know that... but I chose to hide...



Edit: Thank you for a great day! :p

"Do poepket ssumnida"

:) Finally!

   Annyeonaseyo!

  I just booked my vacations: Rome in April (five nights) and London in September (four nights).

  In Rome I'm hoping to stay in Maria's house (I'm waiting for the confirmation), it's a new way of staying somewhere for me. I'll be near the coliseum.

  In London, I'll stay in an hotel near the place I've been before.

"Do poepket ssumnida"

Weekend

   Annyeonaseyo!

  I only have a weekend off, once every seven weeks and I really like them.

  So, this weekend it's my days off and I want to be out most of it. 

  Sometimes we do things without thinking to much... because it's nothing really (there's no hidden intentions, no dark secrets behind it). 

  But what if we are misunderstood by the other part? 

  What to do?

I introduce you Lee Hong Ki, the lead vocal from FT Island

"Do poepket ssumnida"

I'm stronger

   Annyeonaseyo!

  I think all the hardships I have gone through have made me stronger, specially since I decided to put all the concerns about what others may think aside.

  We are usually scared of dealing with things in life because we worry too much with the way others may think, what others may do... but the truth is that "If you're not in my shoes, you don't really know the way I feel". The same situation is solved differently depending on the person that is dealing with it.

  We only need to care about what people that we enjoy being with think of us (not because we should adapt ourselves to them but to not make stupid mistakes that can hurt them without any intentions of our part).

To rise up my mood even more - Cher's "Believe"

"Do poepket ssumnida"